Bollywood dance numbers present the funny facts about India

This time, we feature Bollywood dance numbers that truly reveal the funny facts about India. Have fun, Bhaiyyaji.

When God invented mankind, did he really think that one day man will sin so much that he will end up creating Bollywood? And Bollywood will give birth to luminescent stars like Jeetendra, Govinda, Sunny Deol, Anil Kapoor, etc., etc. - men who have fired our imagination and inspired us to achieve the impossible? While all these gents are fine actors (if hamming can be called acting), it is in dancing, and therefore songs in which they have found their mojo. 

We first take up the (curious) case of Jeetendra. The gent hit his stripes in the 1980s with movies produced in South India. All these movies had mind boggling and eye popping songs. In fact, mind scrambling is the term that comes to mind. I know. I know. You are a die hard Jooti...I mean Jeetu fan too. And you really want to now feast your eyes by looking at the master at jump...i mean work. So here it is. The only thing. Darwin proved long back that we have evolved from monkeys. Did someone forget to tell Jeetu?

It would be a travesty if we do not give Jeetu more footage by featuring another legendary song of his. Here the partner in crime is Sridevi, and you can see that the female of the species out-jumps and out-gyrates the man. And that's how it should be. 

Are you still there bhaiyye? Is your breath holding out? I do hope you are not trying to copy the dance moves of the master. It is not for the faint hearted or the weak minded. Only those who are sublimely skillful can dance like this. So do not even try, and certainly not in public view. You have been warned.

Now, the master craftsman called Peetu...I mean Jeetu laid the foundations of a revolution. It was a whole new way of gravity defying, hysterical, maniacal dancing which took your breath away. But what he began, the others took forward. And how.

Now we enter the era of Govinda - the gent who usually had his mouth open and a facial expression that suggested that he just discovered that he did (not) have a brain. But let us not get intellectual here bhaiyye. Just listen to the song, admire the soulful lyrics and be transported to hell...I mean heaven. And in the august company of our friend Govinda, look what Mad-huri is doing too.

 

From the star sprinkled history of songs featuring Govinda, we now select another gem, co-starring Kimi Katkar - she of the "Tarzan, my Tarzan" fame. Though this song does not feature any earth-shattering dance moves, it is a big leap forward in our cinema, where Govinda takes on the garb of Superman (leaving the real Superman in tears no doubt) and manages to add his own patented dance moves to it. Enjoy the song.

We now move on to Anil Kapoor, otherwise famous as the hairiest man on earth. Now Anil Kapoor was not a natural jumper...I mean dancer as Jeetu and Govinda were, but yes...he was and still is a great one for trying. For example, he is still trying to learn how to act. Plus, he is trying to emulate the great Dev Anand (God bless his soul) for acting with girls half or one third his age. But this blog is about songs. And therefore, a great one coming up, with Anil trying his best to...how do we put it?...hop, skip and jump about. Now, all the hair must have got soaked in rain and added kilos to his weight. But it has not slowed him down at all.

We can go on and on. But we do not want to give you all in one go. You can not kill the hen that lays golden eggs. Plus, one needs to absorb such profundity slowly and in small doses. But we do want to feature two profound songs by that legend called Sunny Deol. 

Sunny Deol departed from the tradition established by Jeetu and created, rather introduced a new paradigm in songs. Instead of hop and jump, it was now like a muscled gorilla, or beer walking slowly. See the song and see if my analogy does justice to our Sunny bhaiyya. Boy, King Kong and Tarzan would be so proud of their lineage. And Karisma Kapoor looks like a true member of the species too.

And now, a gem to close this post. This time, King Kong...I mean Sunny Bhaiyya is accompanied by a young member of the species called Vivek Oberoi. And the effect is what you would expect when two muscled men, both committed to prove Darwin right, dance together. It is indeed a freaky, freaky Friday night for all you fans. Enjoy the number, and thank the dear Lord. For Sunny Bhaiyya. And Bollywood. The song is from the path breaking movie Naksha. And yes, there is the inimitable she-male, Sameera Reddy too.

So we are pretty proud of what we have managed to achieve today. We have a put a whole new way of dancing (if it can be called that) in front of you fans. It's history re-visited so to speak. But a severe warning. These dance moves have been perfected by the masters. If you try and copy them, you could be down with all sorts of contortions and distortions. So do not even think.

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Learn funny facts about India...

This blog highlights funny facts about India, with the guarantee that it will make you laugh your guts out. Try it firsthand today.

Have you all noticed how there is a wave of desification all round?

Now what is desification? 

You know in good old days when there were more "proper" English speakers in India than Great Britain; the high noon of St. Stephen's College & its ilk (Think of Stephen's, think of people who spoke English with an accent that died with Queen Victoria, but survived in Stephanians, but of course). 

Now what about Stephen's and the good old days? Well, you could find people who could say "Pray, you are obfuscating the issue quite deliberately" quite effortlessly. Ahhh, those were the days. Where will you find such people today? 

Despite the presence of 1 billion English teaching schools and the efforts of the entire Punjabi community, we have lost that touch. We really have. But pray, I don't mean to bemoan (did I just say bemoan? O my God) the loss. Rather, my endeavour (I am really losing it now) is to celebrate the vibrant, effervescent "Desi" culture of today. Why don't you watch the video to get what I am saying?

Now my dear brothers and sisters, this is MTV - a true blue American brand wishing you "Merry Christmas" with more than a dash of balle balle. Do you get it now? This is "desification". It is a culture that belongs to neither East, West, North or South. It is somehow an inclusive entity, a common voice that represents all the voices and sensibilities of India. So it works throughout India.

Without much ado (as they say in Stephen's), see the same video rendered in Gujju & Tam (Gujarati & Tamil) style.

So now you know why Kolaveri Di was such a hit throughout India. Naturally, films, brands, people everybody, almost unknowingly have adopted the desi style (ishtyle) and lingo. Watch this Coke ad & listen to "Ye Cokewa kitne ka hai?".

Wait, this is only the beginning. We have come to revel (again, Stephen's ki bhasha) in our own unique "desi" style. Everything has gone desi, including our world view. And it has set our imagination on fire. How about Kate & William getting married the "desi" way? Have a look. 

Marvelous my dear Watson, I mean Bhure lal.

Now we take it very seriously when the West sets some trend. And indeed it is Americans, this time Hollywood, that came up with this brilliant idea of dubbing Spiderman 3 in Bhojpuri. It really set the ball rolling. And the rest is itihaas (I mean history). Savour Spiderman saying "Humka Tohaar Madad Chahi".

So "desiness" has come to stay. It has come from within. It's a part of us. Love it. Enjoy it. And imagine...if James Bond spoke Punjabi. Would it not be lovely?

Work of a genius. So then, Be Desi...Eat Desi...Create Desi.

Namaskaar. 

PS.: As I finish this post, there is a power cut. Kya karein, Bhagwaan aur bijli vibhaag ki yahi marzi hai.